Thursday, March 12, 2015

03.12.2015 - Daydream Thursday

My photos from Europe/Morocco in 2005.

At the ladies beach house weekend I was chatting with CL about how our photos end up not having people in them. Flipping through my photos makes me want to improve at photography. And travel again/more.

I feel like I want to do all the things but must remember that my motto is:

You can do anything, but you can't do everything.

Thinking about the tidying up book and the suggestion that "someday means never" when it comes to books you hope to read. I should do something about my fabric collection. Use it or lose it. Though I know that sewing is not a priority this year - I will allow it to stick around until next year and if it's not used by the end of 2016, it gets donated!

So I want to make a list of the things I will let myself explore after I finish my exams this year.

2015 priorities
Architecture Registration Exams (2 down, 5 to go!)
Front and back yard, small garden (don't spend a lot of money - labor)
Health & Fitness
Emergency Fund

2016 priorities
Project Management
Photography Class
Enlarge garden
Sewing (use it or lose it with all fabrics!)

Side projects (designy things)
Churches/ Chapels/ Monuments (develop a portfolio of studies)
Small houses
Build architectural models
Large Drawings
Nature art (like Andy Goldsworthy, take photographs, sculpture with sticks, leaves, stones, etc.)
Food photography/ food styling/ bento

Things I would like to do but apparently aren't a priority... if I stopped watching so much TV/movies and kept my place and supplies tidy though, I might do:
Make jewelry
Woodworking/ furniture making
Graphic design
Learn to cook all the things
Develop a personal style

What gets in the way of doing these things? Of spending time being crafty?
Uh, Facebook time suck.
Pintrest and looking at what other's are doing rather than using that time/energy to learn or create something of my own.
TV/Movies as a main focus
Laziness. General laziness. It's cold, I'm tired after a long day at work. What a wasted life to has seen all the TV shows, or caught up on my "news feed" but to not create be creating things or living my happy life. Living the life I want. I don't want to quick facebook because I do enjoy sharing things with people and interacting and I have done a pretty good job of unfollowing the people that I don't actually have interest in. The problem is that it is my default. So. What to do instead of checking Facebook and Reddit and imgur?

I could look at Pintrest. Lesser evil. I could look at my blogs, and read for inspiration. I could stand up an stretch. Go for a walk. Make a list of what I need to do for work. Write down what I would rather be doing if I wasn't at work (and then do those things on the weekend!)

I can think the thoughts and say inspirational thought provoking things but can I walk the walk? I'd like to be inspirational to others but I feel stuck on the speed bump of my own issues. Why don't you just do the things you say you want?

Fear. I am afraid that they won't be good. Afraid that I will waste things. Feeling inspired by the tidying book that if I test something and it is not successful, thank the materials for teaching me the lessons that I learn from them, discard and move on. I definitely need to figure out a way to be more active. It might require leaning on active friends to join me because even though I enjoy planning things, I don't really like to do nature on my own (Howland doesn't count, he's not very talkative).

I want this blog to be a chronicle of me walking the walk. I want to write about implementing ideas from books and articles and other blogs. I don't care if I have readers really, I just want to have a thing that I'm updating, a spot for me. It will develop over time into something, it's too soon to know what. Most successful blogs are successful after several months or years of posting. No worries, I will figure out what my niche it.

Goal A (I already have Goals 1-3!)
Limit time on Facebook to set times during the day, replace the habit of checking Facebook with something else. I think the first replacement will be writing down (or even just internally acknowledging) what I am feeling when the desire to check Facebook comes up. Observe the feeling, see how it sits with me, and let it pass. Watch it like a fish, but don't try to grab it and hold on. I am not my thoughts, I can just observe them as they come through my mind.

Right now I'm thinking that I want to check Facebook, because I posted a link on a friend's wall and I want to see if she has looked at it. But it's 11pm and I haven't been getting up early enough to get to work on time so what I'm going to do instead is brush my teeth and go to bed. I have a fun day tomorrow! It's Friday, it's Lara's last day so there will be a happy hour at Orupa, and then my boyfriend sent me some money so I could have a girls night out so I'm taking 2 friends to dinner at the new sushi place and to see The Hobbit at the second run theater (which I always forget to check but really should try to hit up  more often, $3 movies!? Holla!)

I think I need to go back weekly and re-read my blog posts too. The problem with journals in the past is that I only wrote in them when I was mad or sad, not when things were good or mundane, and then I didn't look at them again. They might have helped me sort out what I was feeling and get it out of my head but without reflection, how can we really learn from ourselves? If themes develop like wanting something, or feeling a certain way about someone, the only way to know if I should take action would be to reflect on the thoughts. This is the thing about mindfulness I don't quite get. If you are just  supposed to observe your thoughts, how do you know when to act? I'm guessing just by paying attention I will know (and trusting myself).

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